trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
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