I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
