So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize