So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize