apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize