Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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