Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
i out mim tonsoeep
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