Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
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