If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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