I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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