Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
