so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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