my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
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Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
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Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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