This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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