She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
