peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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