I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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