He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize