dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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