hotel room ftw
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
