I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
