he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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