On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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