I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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