Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
