Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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