i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
