We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
