walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
