Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
