It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
