Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
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You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
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I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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