...so i touched it.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
