just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
dude. I can hear the air.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
