But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
BRING THE BAGELS
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
