my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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