Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Randomize
