Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Also, beer. Big fan.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
