Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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