Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
