Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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