Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
