JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
