and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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