I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
