bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize