I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
