I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
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my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
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you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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