Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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