Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
