I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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