no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
