omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
