My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
There r osticjed everywhere
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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