We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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