wakey wakey hands off snakey
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Even my vagina gasped.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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