The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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