i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i wish my penis had a tongue
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
