You don't have asthma, your pregnant
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
