I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
